Responding to Rude People...

How to Handle Rude Co-workers & Business People.

     So, you got a call and they were rude, obnoxious or brash. You would like to reach through the phone and throttle them. You want to email them and tell them what for. You can think of a dozen things you should have said if only you would have been quick enough with the perfect retort. You look at the phone and dare them to call back again!

     When someone bullies you or is insulting, whether by email, phone or in person, do everything you can not to react in like kind. Lashing out will strategically work against you. Bite your tongue and hold the emails. Let's think about how to respond without jeopardizing a business relationship. 

     1. Don't react immediately. Silence is your friend. Bite your tongue. The first thing to do at the time of the offense is to create distance so that things don't escalate or get worse.  If the other person is being a bully on the phone, think about interrupting the conversation with something like this, "It sounds like you're angry. I'm hanging up now and we can talk later after you've cooled down. Thank you."  or you could say, "Now is not a good time to talk. I have to go now."

     Rude emails... we all get them. If it's a rude email, don't overreact with another rude email. Want to know what I do? As soon as I see that an email is getting a little hurtful or offensive, I close it. Then, later on in the day, when I'm cool and collected, I re-open the email and read it through. I don't respond until I have carefully considered a response. Sometimes, I will simple respond with, "Thank you for your feedback."

   Whether at a business meeting or with a boss or with a customer, remember you're nobody's punching bag. In a difficult situation, try to disconnect as calmly and as quickly as possible before your knee-jerk reaction creates a bigger problem.

     It's even okay to gently say, "I'm getting angry with this conversation. I need to step away and take a break. Excuse me for now and we'll come back to this ...." or you could say, "I am pleased to discuss this at another time, but not now. We may have to find some middle ground. Let's continue this conversation tomorrow."

     2. Get some clarity. I find that getting a third person's point of view of the situation helps me to see more clearly. Also, a little time can bring solutions. It could be that by the time you go back to talk to the offending person, that they'll realize how offensive they were and they'll apologize before you say a word. However, getting another person's input could help you with a new perspective.

     3. Confront the offender. It's sometimes much easier to let things pass. If it only happened one time, then that might be your answer. However, if the person has a pattern of offending, bullying or criticizing you, you must change what you can about the situation. 

     I suggest that if at all possible you set up a meeting. If that isn't possible, or if you're not comfortable with a face-to-face meeting, then I suggest you make an appointment for a phone call. This type of confrontation is best not done by email.

     What to say? Here are some suggestions.

•  "Bob, I've got a bone to pick with you. The other day when you said ___________, I felt picked on and bullied."
• "Judy, it seems to me that you're angry with me about _____________. I would like an opportunity to hear what you have to say in a calm manner. Can we do that?"
• "George, I respect you as my boss. Could we discuss a better way to work with each other?"
• "I appreciate you calling attention to __________. Please excuse my delay in getting back to you. At first I was offended by your approach, then I realized that you were sincerely concerned and passionate about ___________."
• "Thank you for talking with me in regard to the words we had the other day. I am entirely willing to put the incident behind me, and I look for forward to continuing our association."
• "In response to your feedback and criticism about ___________ the other day,  I admit that I was uncomfortable with the conversation and it has taken me a long time to consider what to say...."
• "I understand that you have some thoughts about __________ and I would like to discuss a way that we can address your concerns without offending each other."

     Then, without exaggerating or dramatizing the problem, concentrate on dealing with the facts. Don't put the other person on the defensive, or vent, or threaten. Getting "personal" puts you in a weak position and anger is not an argument. It is an emotion.

      It might be obvious that you and the other person have two opposite point of views and you could say something like this: "I feel that we have clear reasons for our individual stands on __________. However, going forward let's be more sensitive on how we approach each other. If you could email me a brief respectful overview of what your stand is, I would be happy to consider your view. I would rather not have a phone call like we had last time which caused a ticklish and uncomfortable situation between us."

     I recommend that before you confront the person that offended you that you carefully consider what you will say and that you have notes in front of you when you make the phone call. Now that you've had time to reflect on what happened, you can choose your words carefully to accurately reflect your position.    

Dirty Dozen Street Smarts for business..

Dirty Dozen Street Smarts to stay alive in business.

I think in today's world you have to be what we used to call "scrappy" to succeed. You may seem small and nonthreatening but be prepared to kick ass when it comes to your business.

1. Be ready to serve. Never think you're above helping others. Even if you're the boss, don't be too high and mighty to get your hands dirty. People like to think that you're not better than them and you're willing to do the work.
2. Be prepared for bad times and bad guys. Every business has an area of vulnerability. Be prepared for the worst by asking yourself what can go wrong. I believe it's better to have an umbrella in case of rain, then to be caught in a storm unprotected.
3. Learn to keep a secret.  I have learned over the years that many times when I got in to trouble, it started with my mouth. Learn to keep some of your private thoughts secret and don't ever betray a confidence.
4. Trust needs to be earned. Be wary of strangers who want you to trust them. This simply makes sense. Give people time to earn your trust before jumping into business with them and don't be afraid to get references and to run background checks. 
5. Listen to your inner voice. Some might say, "Trust your gut!"  I've found that anytime I acted on an idea when my inner voice was saying, "NO!", it was a big mistake. Trust your gut. When in doubt, don't do it. You'll save a lot of time, trouble and money.
6. Keep an eye on the competition.  Even though you don't want to run your business by what other people do, don't be stupid. Be aware of what they're doing, just in case it might effect your business. 
7. Have a network of friends to call on. I have a network of business friends that would help me on a moments notice. If my computer crashes or I need advice or even if I get a flat tire, I have people I can call. And if they need me, I'm there for them. We have each other's back.
8. Keep your hands clean. You may be tempted to bend the rules for someone or even for your own gain. My belief is that you NEVER get away with it. Sooner or later, it will come back to haunt you. 
9. Do what you say you'll do. Keep your promises and don't make promises you can't keep. It's better not to make a promise than to back out later.
10. Let your no be a NO. And your yes be a yes. No one wants a wishy-washy leader. 
11. Never turn your back. If you need to end a relationship back up facing forward with a smile on your face. Relationships don't end, they just shift.
12. Give to others. There is always a place at my table for giving people. They're the people I want in my live and they're the people I want to do business with.

You don't have to be gangsta to be street smart. It's simply good sense.

What's your GOLDEN GOOSE?

Golden Goose referral sources keep giving....

It makes me smile to watch Gold Star members get a good referral. I know that for the sake of appearances, they're acting all cool and calm. But inside... they're doing a little happy dance, like the football running back that just nailed a touchdown. 

In referral marketing lingo, a "Golden Goose" is a person who keeps on giving you referrals over and over again. For a lender, that may be a builder or Realtor. For a printer, it may be a graphic artist. 

A personal injury attorney may find that a Chiropractor can be a Golden Goose for him or the attorney can be the Golden Goose referral source for the Chiropractor. It can work both ways.

To figure out who would be a good referral source for YOU, think about who your client might go to or call either just before they call you or just after. Here are some ideas:

• The mother-of-the-bride might call the venue or wedding planner first.
• The new business might call the accountant before the insurance person.
• The home re-modeler might call the flooring company before the painter.
• The homeowner may call pest control before they call the carpenter.
• Newlyweds may call the travel agent before the life insurance agent.

With a little discovery work, you can locate who could become good referral sources for you. When you do, invite them to visit your business networking group. Meet with them and do a one-on-one. It should be easy to demonstrate how you can refer to each other.

That's how you find your Golden Goose.

People Who Don't Quit are LUCKY.

Have you ever wondered if someone else was luckier than you?

They get the deal and you don't. They got chosen and you didn't.
They're in the right place at the right time and you aren't. 

Over the years, I have found that luck is directly related to not quitting. 

True Story:
There was a Realtor who was envious of another Realtor that seemed to get all the listings in  the neighborhood. Upon investigation, he found out that the secret to the successful Realtor's sales was that he walked the neighborhood and knocked on doors. When residents answered, he asked them if they were thinking about selling. 

Seemed easy enough. So the not-so-successful Realtor decided to walk the neighborhood and knock on doors, just like the successful Realtor did. But after a full week of door-knocking, he didn't get one good lead. So, he quit.

Later that year, at an awards banquet, the successful Realtor got the top sales award AGAIN.  

The not-so-successful Realtor leaned over to the person next to him and asked, "How do you think he does it?"  The person answered, "I'm not sure, but last week I saw him putting a flyer on my neighbor's door in the rain . Maybe he's just lucky."

My Dad used to say, "Winners never quit and quitters never win."  It's an old adage but it holds a lot of truth. If you're doing the right thing, keep on doing it. Then just smile when others call you lucky.

My Definition of a Good Referral...

THE DEFINITION OF A GOOD REFERRAL

      I once heard Joe Stumpf, the founder of the real estate coaching program, “By Referral Only,” put it this way:

“A referral is when you give someone that you know, like and trust to someone you care about.”

I agree with him. Although, I think a good referral is when you pave the way with a connection to someone who has a need.

           

WHAT IS MY DEFINITION OF A GOOD REFERRAL?

           

A good referral is when you connect someone you know, like and trust to someone who has a need.

      Statistics soundly prove that the more you know, like and trust a business person, the more you will refer them to your friends, associates and family. In fact, I did a survey a while back and found that 95%, of the hundreds of participants, would NOT refer to someone that they didn't like. 

      A good referral opens the door so that you can walk right in, get past the gatekeeper and talk to the person making the decisions.

WHEN LABELS ARE FABLES

Who decides whether
 you're a success or not? 

Tony Cooke, a friend of mine, asked me, "Who defined reality for you?"

"I'm curious," he continued. "What is the basis for how you see yourself, the people around you, your circumstances, your destiny, and your world? How much of your sense of reality has been defined by your parents, your education, society and the media?"

That's a good question. The world around us judges us according to their standards. However, the only person that can label you a success is YOU. Listening to the media or other people can leave you disillusioned.

This really drives home the importance of understanding your own definition of success. Is it owning a business or being a millionaire? Is it based on happiness or a career? Is it about your family or your relationship with God?

Recognize that other peoples labels can be fables... they don't know your definition of success or happiness. 

TRUST- How do you get there?

  TRUST is an important piece of your business

The road to referrals is built on integrity, strength, ability, surety and confidence. Simply put, it's built on TRUST. 

People will do business with and refer businesses that they know, like and trust. 

In Gold Star, we expand that to "Know, Like, Trust and Visibility." Let's face it, how many times has someone said to you, "Oh I forgot that's what you do?" So it's easy to say that visibility should be a critical part of your referral strategy to increase business. 

However, the MOST critical part of that formula is plain old TRUST.
We use businesses that we trust. Trust is when you believe that a business has your best interests at heart, that they wouldn't do anything to hurt you and that they wouldn't take advantage of you for selfish gain. 

As a business, you earn trust by consistantly proving and re-proving to your customers, clients and referral partners that their belief in you, your service, your product and your company is not misplaced. 

That trust is earned based on your actions. Words alone cannot build trust. In fact, just saying "trust me" will set off alarm bells for most people. There is no other way to earn people's trust other than with actions. Everything you do or don't do will either build trust or tear it down a notch. 

Like they say, "Actions speak louder than words."
When trust is broken, all referrals from that individual or company will stop. Once trust is violated, you may never be able to regain it. They might smile and act nice when they see you, but they may never do business with you again, much less refer someone that they care about to you. 

Regenerating trust is a looooong process and not an easy one. It doesn't matter if you are a small company or a billion dollar corporation, the only way to re-generate trust is the same way you earned it in the first place. You can re-earn trust through actions that demonstrate integrity, strength, ability, surety and confidence. 

Here are some actions steps toward building TRUST: 

Education: Tell your customers and your referral partners, in a sincere way, who you are and what you do. Educate them through one on one meetings. Help them to understand the whole story of who you are. 

3rd Party Credibility: Use videos on Youtube of customer testimonials as third-party credibility. Impress them with testimonial letters, videos, statements and online recommendations through LinkedIn and other social media sites. 

Show, Tell & Demonstrate: Find ways for people to see, feel and use your products and services through free trials, samples and demonstations. Let them experience your excellance first hand. 

Share Your Fame: Use various methods of sharing your moments of recognition. Do a PR piece on your company for the newspaper, post online pictures of the award you received and show off the skill of your employees. 

Tests, Surveys and Data: Run a taste test, get in front of a focus group, or send out a survey. Find ways to gather data and empower your company statements with exciting facts. 

Offer A Guarantee: Jump start your customer's confidence in you by offering a guarantee. What do they have to lose? 

A study of 12, 750 workers done by Watson Wyatt showed that organizations that had a high-trust factor had a total return to shareholders that was 286 percent higher than low-trust organizations. 

Few can argue that trust is a huge determining factor in your referral marketing strategy. Trust cannot be assumed. It must be earned over time. Take time today to review your business plan. Do you have actions in place that will generate and build trust? If not, make it a priority to do what you need to do so that people can learn to trust you and your company.